insomia

how could people sleep??!?!!!!
i am tired ...mind stopped...or my be hallucinations...confusion.. i really think i got to sleep
but i cant sleep
my be my body dont want to leave this day
or dont want the next day
or may be i didn't do all what i have to do
all may be simply i want to talk or say what i did or what i suffer to some one

fter the accedant

there is a sound of crush in your mind
a very loud one
it took your brain out of your skull
it crush your heart in your chest
every thing become black and suddenly no sound
after some time you started moving
after some time you opened your eyes
take a rapid shallow breathes
then you realized that a new road have been appeared
a new road was obscured by the rubbish before the crush
but the crush clear every thing
now you are with new life and new road
just only u suffered from little pain
with no heart and brain
no heart and brain

machine out of control

A lot of thoughts running in my mind
the game seems to be verY big... a lot of options in my way
a lot of choices and opportunities
a lot of hope and a lot of trust in me
a lot of facilities
I try a lot ....never give up
dreams never ends
hope never fade
too much effort ..a lot of weapons in my hand
a lot of tasks. a lot of missions
in very short age
I am just a huge machine
never can be controlled alone
never can be in the wright way
without help of someone
and no one can help
except God
God knows everything ..God feels every thing .. God can every thing
GOD is kind God is helpful God love me God care of me
God the only one
and I must do simple one thing only
call him and never leaves the first prays

MADNEES

ko el nass meday2ah me 7ayatha
ko el nass ma7'no2ah we m7batah we ya2sah
mafeesh 7ad 3andoh tomo7 aw amal aw 7atah tawakolwe sekah fe allah
mafeesh 7ad hases en rabena bey7eboh
we mafeesh 7ad bey7el mashakoloh betarekah mawdo3eyah we mafeesh 7ad bey7awel yefham
we lama te7wael ta3mel kol dah
yo2oloh 3aleek magnon
we 3agaby

when all think that u will fade away

I have been there for a long time , struggling , fighting acing fear , people and even myself
don't know how but I know I will when at the end
now every one think that no hope from me , "Mohsen is just naughty hopeless boy no use of him"
that's all what they says
u know that thy don't know the rue
u know that the don't no "hope" they don't know "God" they don't know me and the suffering day and the pain
but God know so I don't care there is a deal between us and i keep on my promises
He know the deal and I know the deal so I don't care
no one beside me , and no one expects good thing for me accept Lobna and romanyand younees
and me and that enough for me
I will do it if God will
I will do it for the bleeding nights for the pain for lobna for Romany for youness
I will do it for me
i will do it for me
I will do it for my God cause I deserve his gifts cause I love him cause he always beside me if Mazen didn't believe
I will do it for the deal
the deal between us

PAIN

1- Pain: is a sign of error, as long as there is pain as Long as there is something wrong may be that's"something" is in yourself or on the others or anything whatever he is, pain will still hurting u until u fix its cause, so if u feel pain don't cry just search for the cause and treat it.
2- Pain: when u lose something vital for ur live, something u naturally need, all u have to do is just be patient and wait , may be after sometime u find it again or a substitute for it or something make u hold on for sometime or.............get used to miss it forever.
3- Pain: is the feeling which push u to be better ,to gain more benefits or to get red of harmful things .
PAIN: is Necessary for life so..............I prefer death .

just by feeling

I made a mistake ..it doesn't matter I do better in the next situation
why I always feel like this
i don't wanna to be alone with myself
its more than painful
today i know that deep in ourselves we now the wright from wrong so we have to leave it do its without thoughts that's what means experience u learn alone be self learning
we must live and have some harmful and bites
but we don't have to think too much in the situation
cause this is life
ur soul know the wright
leave it to ur soul and have faith , strength and believe in ur sensation
don't ever ask why you feel that's wrong or wright
cause ur feeling never be false but ur mind imagine only the ad situation and what ur afraid from and make it true in the back of ur head
so u when the situation repeat itself u only see the bad frightening end
and never be good
so believe in God He is good and never want to harm u, this world is belong to Him
and trust ur feeling it never be wrong
they thoughts , opinions and ur believes also may be wrongs
but ur feeling can not .
uptill now u didnt think thats mean u will do better in the nexet time dont worry

as they see me

1-كان وقت عصيب على اعصابي, كنت ذاهب الى مدرج سنة ثانية"المحلاوي" علشان ادرس نسبة حضور الطلبة و كنت ساعتها بجهز لندوة كنت عاملها مع وكيل الكلية , و كانت كل التوقعات بتشير لفشلها,وقفت عند باب المدرج اتأمل الطلبة بعين مليانة باليأس
"هو ده محسن اللي بقلك عليه"
قالت هذه الجملة بنت لصاحبتها كانوا قاعدين على بعد كام بتش من مكاني, بصت صاحبتها ليى و ردت:" هوده؟؟" قالتلها الاولانية بسرعة:"ماتبصيلهوش علشان ما ياخدش باله"
"
ما كنتش اعرف البنتين دول, كمان ماكنوش دفعتي
ساعتها اخذت نفس عميق و فكرت تاني
بعديها باسبوعين الندوة اتعملت و كانت ناجحة جدا ....................على الأقل بالنسبة لية

wild horse

friday afternoon.........we were riding horses..........one of us was afraid ..........once we start to run ..........his horse take him away of the road....although he got the best horse at all i ever see
he could never control it he just keep shouting and screeming seacking help....at every time the boy who guide us go after him and bring him back to the road.....but this story repeted for many times at the end the little boy was tired.... he stood with his horse next to mine and said" your firend gonna be killed by his horse".... I wass shocked i said"wahy?!!!he got the best horse, his horse is better than ours"....he replaid " sier!!if u got a perfect horse and didnt control it, it will surly take u to dith" he said this words then he give a breath of tired and take his horse to save my friend
I looked after him flwwing him with my eyes , what a words!!
latter i found that we all ride horses we all facing the same thing, as long as your horse is good and can take you to the end of te race fast and in best position as long as if u dont control it , it will make you lose every thing

score..... it's just score

every step in this live or even every day is just a game with it's own rules and objects and every one suitable for his job as long as u r value much as long as the game will be difficult and every game u pass u gets point in ur life or after ur dead then u pass to next level after being development and having new weapons this new game with it's rules and objects and u start studding, trying, training and learning to pass it to gain its points and pass to the next step every one suitable for his game so don't ever bather cause u can do it sure
sometimes we thought that to much on us and we can go no more that what we are facing is more than normal and more than our ability that's absolutely wrong God know us and know the heroes inside us but we don't know , He want us to pass this step and feel the great things He put in us , to pass this tasks and gaining points today and tomorrow
and if we don't feel that and insist that we cant .......OK that's will be enough on u thank u very much ur points stooped at this point and no more point and game over at this stag, sorry!! but it's ur dicision
for this no lucky persons no one is more than the others at the begining of life we al have the cards that make us at best pelace in life and after death but there is one want to be and know how much it cost, and another who don't , God is fair....God is good
for me all that in my mind for the next few days its my war my big war and I am alone and enough all I have to do is prepering my army and gaining all the points and having fath